Getting over ME

This morning I was not nice to my daughter. Now before you get all up in arms over this, let me explain. Last night, she did not sleep well. She went to bed later and was restless all night and woke up way too early this morning as I was leaving.

Since all of these factors were present, she was grumpy. Clingy. Whiney. Frustrating.

I wanted to take a hot shower (my first in several days), I wanted to brush my teeth and eat without having a crying baby hanging on me. Yes, that sounds terrible.

I got frustrated when she clung to me and screamed. I got irritated when she wouldn’t let me finish my hot shower. I got angry when I tried to soothe her by setting her next to me and she wanted to climb in my lap again.

I was in a hurry. I was busy.

But she was missing her momma. I had been away all day the previous day and she missed me. She’s not used to me being gone like that. She knew I was leaving this morning. She could sense it.

So I got frustrated and told her to “hush and stop crying”. Immediately, I felt like a crap parent. Mommies are not supposed to get upset, frustrated, angry, impatient… except that we do.

I was so caught up in me this morning that I didn’t take the time to quiet her fears. I was so caught up in feeling bad about everything that I just brushed her aside. I feel guilty.

I have decided to find a way to get over me. The condition of the flesh, for a more Godly perspective. I mean, how can I allow Christ’s patience, love, and empathy come through me to my daughter when I’m too busy focusing on me.

Pity party and I’m the guest of honor.

How can I comfort my mother when I’m too busy nursing my hurt feelings.

I mean, I cant. I know that it is good to deal with things and to get my mind situated on right as well, but do I have to be so consumed in myself that I cant even comfort a 1 year old child?

We are all so much like my little munchkin, crying out to God needing the comfort and wanting to be held. But we are too consumed with ourselves, rushing around and doing our own thing and we ignore the hands reaching down to us. Wanting us to lean on Him. Wanting us to rely on Him. Wanting us to love Him.

What a lesson we can learned from children.

~Hannah

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