Every now and then this life can knock us sideways and twist us all around. It can come in the form of a job loss, a death, a childbirth, or even a new purchase of something. Maybe we thought we had it all figured out and then turned around to discover we didn’t know what in the world was going on!
Yes, yes, and yes. Me to all of those at this moment. I feel so out of touch with myself, my body, my head, my heart, most importantly, my God. I can’t pray, I can’t workout, I can’t eat right, I have no idea what I want. I lost my mojo. Lack of motivation and confusion has kept me trapped in a cycle that I cannot escape from. I go through the days taking each and every blow, forgetting to dodge. Do I even know how to dodge anymore?
So, as I sat around just thinking about things, I discovered several areas that I can improve upon.
First, my physical health. I can eat better, start my yoga again, start running, strength training… At the same time throw in some healthy food and drink choices and I think that I have a winning combo for that area.
Second, my emotional health. To be honest I am at a weird place in my life that makes me uneasy. I’m fresh from a heartbreak of losing my mother and i’m lost as to what to do with my time. I am trying to find a job. But this dead (ugh really wording?) space is driving me nuts. My solution is to deal with things. Problems in relationships, deal with my past regrets and other things I am holding on to.
Third, my personal health. This is basically “what the heck do I want out of life”. What do I want to accomplish, what are my goals, passions, likes, dislikes… anything like that. I don’t know anymore and that makes me sad. I can honestly say that I lost myself in my relationship with my daughter and her daddy. I completely forgot me. Journaling and anything else I can find enjoyable.
Forth, and the most important, my Christian health. Why do I not pray anymore, where is my Bible even at, and other such things. I have to come back to God and give Him more glory and praise than I have been. Start writing my prayers and gratitude, my praise… really dig into the Bible and some studies, find some devotionals. Just spend time in God.
As I write these things, I do feel better already. I’m confident in myself, but I still feel like I will miss the mark and forget and just give up. Its a terrible self-esteem issue that I have picked up somewhere. I dont like it.
Go away stupid voice. Let me live my life free from your dumb little self doubting whispers. Boo.
Anywho, there are tons of things that I want to improve upon, I just have to focus on several instead of a lot of them. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. That’s exactly what I plan to do too.